So now that pronouns have been depleted to simplified options (which doesn’t seem to make them any less harder at times) we can advance onto the more complex and legal world of names. Those who are gender fluid will oftentimes not want to keep with their birth name because of the dysphoria it can cause. Overly feminine or masculine names can be severely unwanted at times. Luckily a name change can solve that and even encourage the pronouns.
The term unisex more or less means ‘universal sex’ due to its history. The idea is that it can work for both males and females.
Choosing a unisex name is probably the best option a gender fluid can ask for. The names work for any gender with an either masculine or feminine, or even neutral, touch based on the current identity.
So what unisex names are there?
Almost every name site has a section or list for unisex names. Here are my 2 favorites:
1. Nameberry – the page is currently on the A’s but the other letters are up there. The site has a section for unisex names in their side bar complete with lists of unisex names, such as unisex place names, etc. Nameberry is a good site, always accurate, and has names you can’t find on my main source
2. Behind the Name – this is my main source, the site is always accurate and gives reviews and ratings. They even offer a pretty wide selection of international names for those who want to honor their heritage
Of course, you can find unisex names elsewhere on the web, but those are the sources I usually use. You can also use the power of Tumblr tags to search through gender neutral names, or simply search Google. There are some very nice unisex names out there so just keep looking and you might just find a name you love.
For those who aren’t gender fluid, the gender neutral name comes in handy because it can be used for both our male and female (and everything else) phases and covers us from dysphoria. Just like the wish to be able to slide between appearances, so do we also want to slide through a name that can go any way we need it to.
That one option we probably thought about at one point or another
When I go through the introductions of gender fluids on Tumblr, I see people listing 2 names: their feminine pick and their masculine pick. I referred to this before as the John/Jane identity, meaning there are 2 separate gender identities to switch between.
It would be nice to have 2 names to fit whichever identity – at first. You have a feminine name and a masculine name. One must be realistic about this, though. Unless the names are terribly close, people will probably get tripped up often about which name you are using at the present date.
And then there’s the question of which name comes first in your list…
If you’ve decided to use the 2 name road, I would advise to really think about the two names you’ve chosen and have others start switching between them properly before doing anything legal. You may find it doesn’t really work for you, to have to explain to others two different sets of pronouns and names and whatever else, and then come out everyday to your chosen pronoun. Or you may find one of the names doesn’t fit you quite right.
This goes for both the 2 names and the unisex name choices as my only advice: experiment first. You might just find the names you’ve picked don’t sound right. Don’t let me deter you off the track, of course. I’ve thought a really long time on 2 names and still consider it. I just want to get across that whatever you choose, make sure its what you want. Names can be a first impression according to what your name is – make sure you don’t have a wrong feeling about it.
Sensible choices in my opinion
- Use a unisex name you’ve tried out and know you want
- Find the John to complement your Jane or vice versa and use the one chosen (or both if you chose both of them) as a nickname for whenever you identify as the corresponding identity. Once you’re sure, then set about the legal chores
There are a lot of choices and names to choose from, you’re bound to find the perfect one for you. And if trouble comes in choosing, take your time, don’t feel rushed, and talk over it with someone. Outside opinions can give a clearer view of things (just don’t let them decide for you).
Tipping the Scales 